Hopping on the Baby Train...Again!

I feel like half of my adult life has been trying to have a baby. After everything happened this summer I was feeling unbelievably defeated. I felt broken. About 2 weeks after the transfer, we found out the test was negative and about a week after that my period came. It last almost a week and a half. Worst cramps ever and lots of spotting afterwards. I never really thought much of it. Just that my body had been through so much and this was it's way of flushing it out.

Fast forward through November and December -- I never got a period. While this is something I always wished for, I was starting to freak out a little. I went to the gynecologist in January and she prescribed Provera. It started my period right away. She also did an ultrasound and everything looked fine.

February went by without anything then I got my period again the beginning of March. Not that anyone really cares about my cycles, but being fairly regular, this has weighed heavy on my mind. What the heck was going on?

My gynecologist suggested we get a second fertility opinion and, if anything, get answers as to why my cycles are going crazy. So here I am, right back at the beginning.

March 21, 2016

• Blood Tests
• Ultrasound- nurse said I was going to ovulate. Lining was about a 5.
• Met doctor for the first time and discussed a plan of action.- I left feeling really good. He said he wanted to try a less invasive approach to really see what is not working. I am actually really excited.

TIMELINE PLAN

1. Start Prenatal, CoQ10, and D3

    Nick start motility vitamin

    Nick go for semen analysis

2. Go in for ultrasound 1 week later to check for ovulation

3. Wait for period

4. Call with period to set up an office hysteroscopy

5. Day 3 of period- go for blood work

6. Day 4- Start Letrozole 2.5mg AM & PM (days 4-8)

7. Day 13- have sex

8. Day 14- ultrasound and post-coital test, consider insemination

9. Complete IVF orientation

10. Check into injectables 

March 28, 2016

• Blood Tests
• Ultrasound showed I ovulated and doctor predicts 22-23, lining was 7
• Progesterone was low- started progesterone AM & PM for 8 days
• Nick- completed semen analysis (nurse said it was "good")

Happy Easter!

You are loved more than you will ever know 

by someone who died to know you. 

Romans 5:8

We are finishing up a much needed spring break with Easter Sunday. We have been creating memories and celebrating traditions. While the little nugget is sleeping I thought I would take a minute to share some of our fun!

Trip to the mall to see the Easter Bunny....

 it didn't go over so well but little miss got a new pair of sneaks. Pink and black converse! LOVE!

Easter Egg Dying...

        

 Sunny Days...

A Day at the Orchard seeing baby chicks...

 Planting our Jelly Bean Garden...

The Easter Bunny Arrived...

Easter Morning...

Flashback Friday- Baby Journey Part 2

|| Embryo Transfer ||

Sometimes I think about the things Nick and I have been through to have a baby and I find it remarkable. I know there are some who go through so much more and for that my heart breaks.

Well, I made it through another school year. My baby turned one. And all was right with the world. Nick and I decided July was our month to transfer. Got my period at the end of June, called the doctor, and was told, "sorry you will have to wait to August because he is going out of the country for the rest of the month for vacation." I was freaking annoyed. (Red Flag #1)

Waited another month, got my period. Period was pretty light which was unusual but seriously I did. not. care. Called the doctor and started an Embryo Transfer cycle. I went in for day 3 blood tests and ultrasound and was given a prescription for all my meds. I was on injectable estrogen, baby aspirin, prenatal, and folic acid. If all went as planned my transfer would take place on August 14. During my visit, I also found out the main nurse who basically ran the office left. (Red Flag #2)

After about a week of being on the estrogen I went in to get my lining check. It was at about 3mm and needed to be at an 8-9mm. This was really bad news. And just like that the transfer was canceled until this progressed. (Red Flag #3) My estrogen scheduled was changed from every 3 days to every 2.

I went for another check a few days later and once again no change. Nothing. Nada. ZERO! (Red Flag #4) The Dr decided to mix it up and prescribed Viagra and Neupogen.

I went again for a check and was at 4mm. At this point the Dr. tried to explain how my lining was like "dead grass" and it needed to be fertilized in order to grow. It may take time and we just needed to be patient. OH and since it wasn't check with my originally blood test they decided to check my estrogen levels. (Why wasn't this done originally? Red Flag #5)

Shit basically hit the fan at this point. my levels were sky high. To the point the Dr was very concerned. I had to stop all meds and my levels were checked about every 3 days for 4 weeks. If that didn't piss me off. Each week I noticed the nurse was questioning me and the amount of estrogen I was taking. Basically, I messed up. - (Note: I am human and I make mistakes all the time. I can 99.9% say that when it comes to medication and medication I am injecting I made pretty damn sure I am giving myself the right amount to begin with.) (Red Flag #6-7)

At the end of September 2015, I went in for an ultrasound. By some sort of miracle my lining was 7mm enough for a transfer. I went back on the estrogen and followed the same dosage as previously told to me on the sheet of paper. We were so excited.

Now, let me just say, when people treat you like your are an idiot you feel like an idiot. When someone makes you feel like you did something wrong, no matter what, you are going to feel like you are screwing up. On September 24 we went in for our transfer. Two embryos from our original batch.

Do you see the Red Flags mentioned earlier in the post??? Well that was what was on my mind. I was stressed and frustrated.

I tried very hard to get in a good place.

I laid on the table. The Dr was frustrated with the nurse so they were bickering. The nurse couldn't get the ultrasound in the right place and because of where she stood Nick had to stand so far away he wasn't even next to me. As I watch the little embryos get sucked up into the catheter the nurse decided this was a great time to ask me how much estrogen was I taking. WHAT?!?!? FREAKING PISSED. That is what I felt in that moment. I told her I was taking the 1cc listed on the sheet.

Then she told the Dr. and they both basically start yelling at me that I was to be taking half the amount. And didn't I learn anything from the past few months. REALLY PISSED. -- on the table... I was on the table. Not 2 minutes from having 2 embryos placed in me.

It was an emotional 2 week wait that ended up with a negative pregnancy test. We were devastated to say the least. We (I) tried very hard to accept that we may only be a family of 3 but always question if there is anything else we can do. At the beginning of the new year (2016), we decided to seek a second opinion and made an appointment with a new fertility doctor. I have to say I am a little excited to just have some answers.

Flashback Friday- Baby Journey Part 1

When I was taking my graduate course one of my professors always said sometimes you need to take a step back in order to move forward. 

One of the reasons I stayed away from this blog was because I felt like I lost the chance to share. Time went by and retelling something that happened so long ago felt wrong. I even actually thought about starting a whole new blog.

After realizing this was completely insane, I decided this is MY place and this is who I am. I can do what ever I want with this. So, for a little while I am going to jump back into time on Fridays and share some of the things that have happened over the past year.

Baby Journey

Back in November 2014 I share our story of miscarriage. Unexpected pregnancy and with unexpected loss. You can read that post here.

In January 2015, I started to write the post below...

Oh the joys of baby making or lack there of. Since mid-November we have been on the roller coaster of dealing with a miscarriage. Getting pregnant naturally was unexpected but the miscarriage was shocking. Emotionally draining, I hoped this time having a planned D&C would make coping with everything easier. Unfortunately this was not the case.

The miscarriage ended up being a little worse then we originally thought, After the D&C, I went in for a post-op. Pieces of the placenta never naturally expelled. The doctor tried to take it out right there in the office but being pretty painful decided to give it another week. 

Another week went by. At this appointment, pieces were still in my uterus and at this point had to be removed to prevent infection and damage. The doctor numbed me up, dilated me, and tried again. This time a little more aggressively. Not fun at all!! He was able to get some more out and sent it to be tested.

About a week later, the beginning of December, I received a call from the nurse. The sample tested showed inflammation. This meant another D&C would have to be done. This surgery was so much more painful than the first.

I went for another post-op. During this visit the ultrasound showed the doctor was able to get everything. He said it was very difficult and was happy he had the ultrasound machine in the operation room. D&Cs are very hard on the uterus but having more than one only weeks apart is terrible. The concern is the build up of scar tissue which could make it hard to carry a baby in the future. The doctor decided to perform a hysteroscopy. This is a test where a scope is placed into the uterus to check out the lining. It can be slightly painful and since I have a pretty low pain tolerance we decided it would be done with some anesthesia. 

For about a month, I was on estrogen, antibiotic, then on the last week progesterone only.  

Post-Miscarriage..  

After the miscarriage, I went through pretty bad depression. I struggled to be in a place that was happy and content.  I struggled to be a good mom emotionally for Harper. Many nights I held her and just cried. It was so unfair to her. Their was also wall of tension between my husband and I that Nick was constantly trying to knock down.

At a certain point something shifted and I finally had control of my heart again. I can't really explained what happened but I was able to move forward. Nick and I decided to think about pregnancy again in the summer of 2015 and move on with the embryo transfer that we had planned on doing since the beginning. In the mean time, I decided to focus on myself, my husband, and my baby.

H E L L O ~ I'm Back!

It has been over a year! 

It is amazing how fast time goes by. So much has happened and I am looking forward to blogging again. I guess the question is, why did I walk away? Blogging was always a release for me. A place to share my feelings, my thoughts, and experience.  Almost like a therapy.

About a year ago my life seemed to be taking a tumble. I was trying to be something more, live happy, give my daughter everything, work but I was running into every obstacle. Time was not on my side and luck was definitely not with me either.  

Since the new year I have been searching for a way to help myself. This week it became clear. It's time to go back to something I know works. I have a lot to share and a lot going on. 

So...let's do this!!

Happy Eleven Months!

Happy 11 Months B E A N!!!

Age: 11 months

Weight: 

Height: 

Milestones:

• Mastered walking
• Started running
• Plays chasing games with other kids and Brodie
• Dances when a song she likes comes on
• Plays the recorder & blows on hot food (blows air out)
• Top two teeth completely through
• Jumps on things...pillows, ballpit, blankets.
• Pushes herself while sitting on riding toys
• Says..."dah" (daddy) "mah, mah, mah" (mommy) "yesss" "go, go go" "ohhhh" (uh-oh)
• Animal Sound...Brodie says "woof woof"
• Car Sound...."vroom vroom"
• Loves to play with legos, matching shapes, books, and instruments

Sleep:

Takes her bath at 7:00. Then, gets in jammies and reads books with daddy. Around 7:30 mommy and Harp cuddle and have a bottle. Harper takes a binki and falls right asleep. She will sometimes wake up and look for her binki but is able to put herself back to sleep.

Naptime: Morning ranges from 40 minutes-a little over an hour and and afternoon nap is usually 2 hours.

Mommy's Favorite Moment:

Love that my little girl is finally calling me "mah." Harper is full of big wet kisses and the best hugs. I love our nightly routine and the moments right after her bottle. She puts her head on my shoulder and just snuggles. Those few minutes at the end of my day are priceless! This Christmas was also the best. I loved watching Harper open her gifts. Each and every time she ripped the paper she would look up and gasp. It was hysterical!  

Daddy's Favorite Moment:

Harper had a great Christmas.  She has so many new toys, clothes, and books.  She loves to read with daddy.  Every night after her bath she walks over to her bookshelf and picks up her three favorite books.  Her very favorite right now is about bears and it has different textures that she likes to touch. She is such a little busy-body and loves to chase Brodie around.  She steals his toys and yells "go, go, go" as he runs after her.  She got her first pair of Nike sneakers and her first soccer ball this month. Can't wait to get her first pair of cleats!

Health:

All good this month. A little snotty nose here and there but nothing serious.

Eating:

Bottles- 8 ounces with 2 scoops of rice. Usually she gets an 8oz. bottle at 9:00, 1:30,  and 7:00. Then, a 4-6oz. bottle sometime in the morning and when we get home from work (before dinner). 

Solid- Eats E V E R Y T H I N G  Loving...blueberries, Sicilian pizza, mashed potatoes, roast beef, mac & cheese, yogurt 

Things I Want to Remember:

• Wears size 12-18 months clothes
• Wear size 3 diapers
• FIRST Christmas- Christmas Eve at Granny's and dinner at Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop Knotts'
• Celebrated the new year with Chele and friends from daycare
• Played with Arihanna at Mom-Mom & Pop-pop Wood's on Pop-Pop's b-day
• Playdates with Tommy Zebley and Joey Palladino and had dinner with Ryan and Patrick P.
• Made special gifts for Christmas presents

Valentine's Day Plans

I can't believe Harp is going to be celebrating her last "first" holiday. Celebrating the holidays big and small has definitely been a highlight of the year. Since Valentine's Day is around the corner so I have been doing a little planning and gathered a little bit of inspiration.

Heart Beanie |  Indigo Heart Romper | Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls | Love You Forever 

Guess How Much I Love You

Harper goes to daycare during the week and I wanted to make something for her to give to her little friends there. I love these cute butterfly valentines and maybe make these yummy pretzel candies for her babysitter. 

Follow me on Instagram for new blog posts  at jwoodstories.

Monthly Favorites (months 5-8)

Yes, I know, Harp is almost 11 months old. (Sigh) 

It seems when I went back to work in August, this little blog took a hit. 

My new year's goal is to get things back on track and share all the little things 

that have happened, are happening, and will be happening. 

FIVE & SIX MONTHS

Baby Brezza One-Step Baby Food Processor

We made all of Harper's for the first few months. We loved the Brezza. It was easy to make a weeks worth of food and clean up is a cinch!!

Little Tike Snug-n-Secure Swing

Love this swing. It really is a classic. 

Bath Toys

Once Harper started sitting, bath time really became a time to play in water. These little guys are great in and out of the tub.

Little Einsteins Activity Jumper

Bright colors. Entertaining toys. Lots of movement. 

BABY BJORN Baby Carrier 

We couldn't have done any errands without a carrier. I wish I would have done a little more research but the BJORN was easy to get Harp in and out of. It also grew with her as she got bigger. 

 SEVEN & EIGHT MONTHS

Fisher-Price Space Saver High Chair

This is a small high chair. It works great for us because our dining area is small and we have a high top table. I also like that it is easy to take with us when we visit friends.

Safety 1st Essentials Child Proofing Kit

Once Harper was on the move, it was time to child proof the house. 

Soft Sole Shoes

Loved these shoes. Inexpensive and easy to put on her feet.

Gerber Puffs

Harper's very first snack!! These little puffs melt in her mouth.

VTech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker

This is Harper favorite toy! 

Shopping Cart Cover

Simple to put on any cart and is a great barrier between baby and the disgusting cart germs.

Sippy Cup

Dating my Husband

12 Months of Dates

Ever since Harper was born our parents have been more than willing to take Harp for a few hours here and there. Even in the beginning. Nick's dad would come over and just sit and hold this itsy-bitsy baby while we went out and got dinner. Now that she is older, my mom has a standing date with her every Sunday from 3 until dinner time and she has a sleepover at Mom-mom and Pop-pop Wood's just about every other month. The funny thing is, when Harp is gone, we never know what to do. We run errands, watch tv, and even sleep but nothing exciting. Sometime we hardly talk. 

The problem is we forgot how to date and how to spend time together.

I am determined to change this in 2015. So, for Christmas, I decided to make Nick the 12 Months of Dates I have seen all over blogs and Pinterest. Each month is a special date that is planned and put into an envelope. The plan is to open them at the beginning of the month and decide when to go. Some take place right in the house while others are at places like restaurants, movies, sports games and even mini-vacations. 

(I must admit...there are ideas all over Pinterest. I used some dates I found, made some minor changes to some, and even came up with my own. The opening letter is the basic letter I found most people were using.)

This is the letter I attached to the front cover. 

Today, we are going on our very first date of the year. It's a simple date but very important.  

Happy Ten Months!!

Happy TEN Months Sweet Girl!!

Age: 10 months

Weight: 20lbs 11ozs

Height: 27 inches

Milestones:

• Started walking on her own.
• Eats only regular solid foods.
• Got her ears pierced.
• Dances to music- every night we listen to the radios while daddy fills the dishwasher
• Harp found her tongue- loves to stick it out while she walks around

Sleep:

This month was so much better!!!!!!

Takes her bath at 7:00. Then, gets in jammies and reads books with daddy. Around 7:30 mommy and Harp cuddle and have a bottle. Harper takes a binki and falls right asleep. She will sometimes wake up and look for her binki but is able to put herself back to sleep with out us.

Naptime are great. Morning ranges from 40 minutes-a little over an hour and and afternoon nap is usually 2 hours.

Mommy's Favorite Moment:

Holy Moly...my girl is a walker. I can't even believe it!!! We are super busy chasing around this little ball of energy but Harp has open doors to an even bigger personality. She is talking a lot more and giving more kisses. We had so much fun this month celebrating Harper's first Thanksgiving with a special bib, fancy Turkey hat, and lots of yummy food.

Daddy's Favorite Moment:

Harper is walking everywhere!  She can get up on her own and really moves quickly.  Now that she's walking, Brodie is starting to warm up to her a little more.  They take turns stealing each others toys and she likes to chase him around the living room. We got to go pick our first Christmas tree even though it was very cold.  Harper is so curious about everything she can get her hands on.  She loves to read books with me before she goes to bed.  It's amazing how fast she is growing and how smart she is! 

Health:

9 month check went awesome!!! Harper is right on track growth-wise. She had half of her flu shot and will get the other half next month.

Harper had a little bout of a stomach bug which caused diarrhea but didn't cause any other discomfort.

Eating:

Bottles- 8 ounces with 4 scoops of rice. Usually she gets an 8oz. bottle at 9:00, 1:30,  and 7:00. Then, a 4-6oz. bottle when she wake up and when we get home from work (before dinner). 

Solid- Loves food!!! Eats breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For breakfast, Harp loves...waffles, french toast, and breakfast bars. For lunch, harp loves...pizza, perogies, chicken, green beans, mac and cheese. For dinner, Harp loves...anything we have for dinner. At her check-up the doctor said she an have anything except honey.

Things I Want to Remember:

• Wears size 12-18 months clothes
• Wear size 3 diapers
• Enjoys first Thanksgiving at Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop Knotts'
• Went car shopping for daddy's new car
• Christmas Pictures
• Got ears pierced at the mall- didn't cry until second hole and stopped as soon as she got a lolly-pop
• Decorated for Christmas with mommy and daddy- picked out a Christmas tree and helped decorate it
• Went to best friend Rylee's first birthday party

Happy NINE Months!!!

Happy 9 Months Love!! <3

Age: 9 months

Weight:  20 lbs

Milestones:

• Climbs up steps
• Walks while holding hands
• Takes a couple unassisted steps
• Makes sounds like she is asking a question
• Points at things she wants
• Eats finger food
• Gives hugs to people, Brodie, and her baby doll

Sleep:

Sleep has been very rough this month. Typically would go down at 7 p.m. but would wake up several times during the night. We were going nuts. Harp would sometimes drink up to 8 ounces in the middle of the night.

On top of not sleeping well, we had to prop her bed up for 2 weeks due to a bad cold and croup. This made sleeping even worse.

Mommy's Favorite Moment:

On October 31st we celebrated Harper's first Halloween. She dressed up as the cutest little monkey which is so fitting since she would swing tree to tree if she could. We started a little tradition of having dinner with my parents and visiting friends. 

Daddy's Favorite Moment:

The best moments from this month was Harper's first Halloween.  She was so happy to put on her costume for the first time.  Her monkey costume was adorable and Jess "dolled" it up with makeup and a pink bow.  Also...she's on the move. She's everywhere!  She so adventurous, has no fear, and loves climbing on things especially the steps. 

Health:

Oh my goodness! Our poor little baby had such a rough month. Starting out with a bad cold, mix in a little teething, and croup. It was rough on all of us. Harp didn't sleep much and was on a lot of meds. Steroids for the croup and ibuprofen for fever and pain.

Eating:

Bottles- 8 ounces with 4 scoops of rice. Usually she gets an 8oz. bottle at 9:00, 1:30,  and 7:00. Then, a 4-6oz. bottle when she wake up and when we get home from work (before dinner). If she wakes in the middle of the night, she'll usually take a 4 ounce bottle. - This pretty much stayed the same this month but when she was waking up she would sometime take up to 8 ounce (2 bottles) at night.

Solid- Harp loves food!! Finger foods all the way. She loves...perogies, broccoli, green beans, peas, waffles, and mashed potatoes.

Things I Want to Remember:

• Went fall clothes shopping- Size 9-12 months
• Wear size 3 diapers
• Decorated a pumpkin for Halloween
• Loves to take things out of the refrigerator
• Loves climbing and jumping all over the couch
• Makes a huge silly smile when you say "cheese"

Catching up with the Holidays

We had so much fun celebrating Christmas the entire month of December!! We started some awesome traditions I hope we can continue in the years ahead.  I am pretty sure Harp had no clue what was going on but she definitely got the "ho-ho-ho" and surprise/dramatic "ahhhhh" sound down pat!!

We started on the month creating a bucket list for Harper. 

We spent the first Saturday of the month searching for the perfect Christmas tree.

Harper did her very best to help decorate the house and tree.

I made Harper a very special felt Christmas tree. She could remove the ornaments and put them back on. She liked it but I think she like trying to tear it down and eat the ornaments more than anything. 

We did Christmas Pictures which turned out awesome!! Thanks to Kristin Ann Photography.

 We went to see Santa at the mall.

We made our very first family gingerbread house.

 We sang a lot of Christmas songs throughout the month but our favorites were Jingle Bells and Frosty which just happen to be on repeat as we got dressed for Christmas eve.

This month was full of memories that I will never forget. We had so much fun and so much needed family time over the winter break!! 

Happy New Years!! We celebrated the night with our friends. Harp is a party animal and made it to 9:00 full of chocolate and soft pretzel.