One of the reasons I stayed away from this blog was because I felt like I lost the chance to share. Time went by and retelling something that happened so long ago felt wrong. I even actually thought about starting a whole new blog.
After realizing this was completely insane, I decided this is MY place and this is who I am. I can do what ever I want with this. So, for a little while I am going to jump back into time on Fridays and share some of the things that have happened over the past year.
Baby Journey
Back in November 2014 I share our story of miscarriage. Unexpected pregnancy and with unexpected loss. You can read that post here.
In January 2015, I started to write the post below...
Oh the joys of baby making or lack there of. Since mid-November we have been on the roller coaster of dealing with a miscarriage. Getting pregnant naturally was unexpected but the miscarriage was shocking. Emotionally draining, I hoped this time having a planned D&C would make coping with everything easier. Unfortunately this was not the case.
The miscarriage ended up being a little worse then we originally thought, After the D&C, I went in for a post-op. Pieces of the placenta never naturally expelled. The doctor tried to take it out right there in the office but being pretty painful decided to give it another week.
Another week went by. At this appointment, pieces were still in my uterus and at this point had to be removed to prevent infection and damage. The doctor numbed me up, dilated me, and tried again. This time a little more aggressively. Not fun at all!! He was able to get some more out and sent it to be tested.
About a week later, the beginning of December, I received a call from the nurse. The sample tested showed inflammation. This meant another D&C would have to be done. This surgery was so much more painful than the first.
I went for another post-op. During this visit the ultrasound showed the doctor was able to get everything. He said it was very difficult and was happy he had the ultrasound machine in the operation room. D&Cs are very hard on the uterus but having more than one only weeks apart is terrible. The concern is the build up of scar tissue which could make it hard to carry a baby in the future. The doctor decided to perform a hysteroscopy. This is a test where a scope is placed into the uterus to check out the lining. It can be slightly painful and since I have a pretty low pain tolerance we decided it would be done with some anesthesia.
For about a month, I was on estrogen, antibiotic, then on the last week progesterone only.
Post-Miscarriage..
After the miscarriage, I went through pretty bad depression. I struggled to be in a place that was happy and content. I struggled to be a good mom emotionally for Harper. Many nights I held her and just cried. It was so unfair to her. Their was also wall of tension between my husband and I that Nick was constantly trying to knock down.
At a certain point something shifted and I finally had control of my heart again. I can't really explained what happened but I was able to move forward. Nick and I decided to think about pregnancy again in the summer of 2015 and move on with the embryo transfer that we had planned on doing since the beginning. In the mean time, I decided to focus on myself, my husband, and my baby.
Post-Miscarriage..
After the miscarriage, I went through pretty bad depression. I struggled to be in a place that was happy and content. I struggled to be a good mom emotionally for Harper. Many nights I held her and just cried. It was so unfair to her. Their was also wall of tension between my husband and I that Nick was constantly trying to knock down.
At a certain point something shifted and I finally had control of my heart again. I can't really explained what happened but I was able to move forward. Nick and I decided to think about pregnancy again in the summer of 2015 and move on with the embryo transfer that we had planned on doing since the beginning. In the mean time, I decided to focus on myself, my husband, and my baby.
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