Flashback Friday- Baby Journey Part 2

|| Embryo Transfer ||

Sometimes I think about the things Nick and I have been through to have a baby and I find it remarkable. I know there are some who go through so much more and for that my heart breaks.

Well, I made it through another school year. My baby turned one. And all was right with the world. Nick and I decided July was our month to transfer. Got my period at the end of June, called the doctor, and was told, "sorry you will have to wait to August because he is going out of the country for the rest of the month for vacation." I was freaking annoyed. (Red Flag #1)

Waited another month, got my period. Period was pretty light which was unusual but seriously I did. not. care. Called the doctor and started an Embryo Transfer cycle. I went in for day 3 blood tests and ultrasound and was given a prescription for all my meds. I was on injectable estrogen, baby aspirin, prenatal, and folic acid. If all went as planned my transfer would take place on August 14. During my visit, I also found out the main nurse who basically ran the office left. (Red Flag #2)

After about a week of being on the estrogen I went in to get my lining check. It was at about 3mm and needed to be at an 8-9mm. This was really bad news. And just like that the transfer was canceled until this progressed. (Red Flag #3) My estrogen scheduled was changed from every 3 days to every 2.

I went for another check a few days later and once again no change. Nothing. Nada. ZERO! (Red Flag #4) The Dr decided to mix it up and prescribed Viagra and Neupogen.

I went again for a check and was at 4mm. At this point the Dr. tried to explain how my lining was like "dead grass" and it needed to be fertilized in order to grow. It may take time and we just needed to be patient. OH and since it wasn't check with my originally blood test they decided to check my estrogen levels. (Why wasn't this done originally? Red Flag #5)

Shit basically hit the fan at this point. my levels were sky high. To the point the Dr was very concerned. I had to stop all meds and my levels were checked about every 3 days for 4 weeks. If that didn't piss me off. Each week I noticed the nurse was questioning me and the amount of estrogen I was taking. Basically, I messed up. - (Note: I am human and I make mistakes all the time. I can 99.9% say that when it comes to medication and medication I am injecting I made pretty damn sure I am giving myself the right amount to begin with.) (Red Flag #6-7)

At the end of September 2015, I went in for an ultrasound. By some sort of miracle my lining was 7mm enough for a transfer. I went back on the estrogen and followed the same dosage as previously told to me on the sheet of paper. We were so excited.

Now, let me just say, when people treat you like your are an idiot you feel like an idiot. When someone makes you feel like you did something wrong, no matter what, you are going to feel like you are screwing up. On September 24 we went in for our transfer. Two embryos from our original batch.

Do you see the Red Flags mentioned earlier in the post??? Well that was what was on my mind. I was stressed and frustrated.

I tried very hard to get in a good place.

I laid on the table. The Dr was frustrated with the nurse so they were bickering. The nurse couldn't get the ultrasound in the right place and because of where she stood Nick had to stand so far away he wasn't even next to me. As I watch the little embryos get sucked up into the catheter the nurse decided this was a great time to ask me how much estrogen was I taking. WHAT?!?!? FREAKING PISSED. That is what I felt in that moment. I told her I was taking the 1cc listed on the sheet.

Then she told the Dr. and they both basically start yelling at me that I was to be taking half the amount. And didn't I learn anything from the past few months. REALLY PISSED. -- on the table... I was on the table. Not 2 minutes from having 2 embryos placed in me.

It was an emotional 2 week wait that ended up with a negative pregnancy test. We were devastated to say the least. We (I) tried very hard to accept that we may only be a family of 3 but always question if there is anything else we can do. At the beginning of the new year (2016), we decided to seek a second opinion and made an appointment with a new fertility doctor. I have to say I am a little excited to just have some answers.