Baby Journey Catch Up

First, everyone should be warned this is an extremely long post. This is a round up of posts documenting our baby journey so far.

6/25/12

Besides doing projects this summer, Nick and I don't have any major vacations planned. We are on a 12 month plan of SAVING $$$$. I know, very exciting right??!!?? Instead of going away, we are planning some "stay-cations." We have a few ideas up our sleeves to make it fun and relaxing.

The only thing new on our baby journey is that we are in the process of saving money. We decided to make our goal next late spring/early summer. We want to have all money saved and be ready to call the doctor to start IVF next May. We did finally go to our financial appointment last week. It really opened my eyes to the process and the cost. The break down went like this...

1 Retrieval Cycle & 1 Frozen Cycle- $7,500

Anesthesia- $450

Counselor- $110

Medication- Approx: $3000

Pregnancy Ultrasounds- $158 each (Approx 4)

Embryo Storage- $150/every 3 months

Our insurance won't cover ANY of it....not a single thing. It seriously makes me sick looking at the numbers. On a positive note, we also went to talk to our doctor. (At our last consultation, our doctor recommended IVF. This was a serious shock to us. We sat in the office listening to him but not fully understanding.) We had a few questions we wanted answered since the only information we have is anything I have gathered in books and on the Internet.

(These are the general questions we had and summarized answers the doctor gave us based on what I understood he was saying.)

1. Since our problems getting pregnant are due to MFI, we asked if Nick should see a urologist.

The doctor was really against this so the answer was a straight out NO. Basically, he said that there is no need for Nick to undergo anything unnecessary which could possibly cause other problems. 

2. I've had a miscarriage. I asked if he thought this could happen again. 

Since the pregnancy occurred naturally, the embryo was not healthy. However when IVF is done only healthy embryos will be used. He also said based on my test results there should not be any problem once the embryo(s) are transferred.

*One other thing I thought was very interesting was that if by chance we do conceive naturally, we would go to him not my regular ob/gyn to start.

Anyhow, obviously I do not know all the lingo and I am sure there is a more sophisticated way of explaining some of his answers but this is where we are at. We left the doctors actually feeling pretty good. (for once)

Since there isn't much we can do now, Nick and I are calling this the Summer of Fun!!

2/29/12

I woke up Monday morning with a pit of nerves in my stomach. It was the day of our consultation appointment. This was the appointment we had been waiting for. The answers we had prayed for. With all the nerves, I still had a wonderful feeling that we were going to have a baby...soon.

My HSG, blood tests, hormones, and ultra-sound all came back normal. Nick's analysis showed good volume and count; however, the test also showed problems with morphology. From what I understand, this is related to the shape of the sperm. Nick's morphology was at 3%. There it was...our answer...right???

So the question is...where do we go from here and how do we get our baby??? The doctor said IVF was our best bet simply because the sperm could be placed directly into the egg. Could we get pregnant naturally? The possibility is there but the chances are low. 

It was incredibly hard listening to the doctor after he gave us this information, so we have been doing a lot of research online. At moments I felt like I was in a movie as flashes of dollars signs and images of needles entered  my mind. Is this going to be our life...pinching every penny, working extra jobs, and shooting multiple drugs into my body?? Nick and I don't know what our path is exactly yet, but we now have the answers we were looking for. It's time to pray and take it one day at a time.

2/20/12

Alright, for the past month I have been going through the motions of all this testing. We started this process because nothing was happening. We are a young couple who has been together for years. We had a couple of years of not (truly) preventing pregnancy and a year of actually trying to get pregnant then we had one pregnancy which didn't development. I am frustrated and confused. I feel stupid because there are lots of other couples who probably go through the same situation but wait for nature to take its course and everything is fine. I have listened to all of the positive and kind comments and wonderful advice of friends and family...but still feel unsettled. I feel selfish, I want answers, and I want someone to open the door which has our baby waiting for us.

Our doctor is wonderful, he is good at what he does and makes you feel like everything is going to be fine. Today, was the first day I started to worry. I am all about getting the full work up because I feel like that is the only way you can really know what is going on bad or good. OK.... so since the first doctors appointment it was acknowledged that I have a backwards uterus (as the doctor said at our first appointment..."your uterus is very backwards.) Today as I am laying there, in a completely vulnerable position, he goes into start the endometrial biopsy. It was a little tight so it needed to be opened a little more. At this point, the nurse pages through my file and tells the doctor about the backwards uterus. He proceeds with trying to dilate it. The pain was so uncomfortable and began to get worse. Due to the pain the doctor decided to not go any further and did not complete the endometrial biopsy. I asked if not having this information would be a problem. He assured me it would not be "because I am young."

From the moment he finished and I started getting dressed I did not feel right. It's that moment where you are not in a familiar place and you think about where you could go to throw up without making a mess or a scene. That was me. I put on my clothes and tried to breath through it. I went to the desk to make another appointment and by this time my hearing was messed up. I had blurred vision and was seeing spots. My body was clammy and sweaty. What a mess! The nurse had to come out, sit me down, give me water and when it did not get better I was taken into a room to lay down. This wasn't the first time I went through something like this since it is what happens almost every time I get my my period. Never a dull moment.  : (

This is where I am at now. Friends have asked, "what do you want the doctor say?" It is so hard to answer because I don't want there to be something wrong which would prevent us from ever carrying a baby but I can't help hoping that the doctor can give us something concrete. We have our follow up appointment on the 29th so now we continue playing the waiting game.

2/11/12

Nick went for his semen analysis and blood work on Thursday. Poor guy...he truly took one for the team. Other than that we are still waiting for the end of the month to come since trying isn't an option right now because of the tests.

2/8/12

Last Thursday, I had another test done...a hysterosalpingogram or HSG. It is an x-ray of the fallopian tubes and inside of the uterus. I must admit I was freaking out before I got there and laying on the table. The nurse decided to warn me about the cramps you could feel during the procedure. Well, I can't say there were major cramps but the feeling was REALLY uncomfortable. It felt like the worst cramps were coming and the only thing I could do was close my eyes. Thankfully it was fast. I wish the doctor could have given us some type of information after the test because I believe he could see everything. We have to wait until all the tests are finished. Nick is going in tomorrow for his test. A little blood and a little semen analysis.

1/28/12

There hasn't been too much on the home front the past couple of days. Today, was dedicated to CLEANING. Love having a clean house!! Not to mention, loving my amazing hubby for helping me out with the basement and bathroom.

Since I want this to be a place to document our journey to parenthood, today marks the first day my cycle. This month we are going to be going through some testing. I am a ball of mixed emotions. I am once again disappointed with the fact I am not preggers, but hopeful the next few weeks will give use some guidance.