One Year Later...

May 21st marked ONE YEAR since our embryo transfer. A 20 minute procedure that has completely changed our lives and given us everything we ever wanted. The journey to get to that point wasn't easy and it is really hard for a lot of people to understand.

When I first started this blog, my hope was to connect with other people going through the same procedure. I spent and logged countless hours searching for answers, people to connect with, and just stories of experience. Now, my hope is that someone might stumble upon this little blog and find something helpful about our experience. For out entire story check out...Our Baby Journey and IVF.

Thinking back to that day, one year ago, I decided to create a list of things that helped me along the way and some things people do not always talk about. Now, I can only speak from my experience with IVF (obviously not a medical doctor) but I am sure many going through a fertility process can relate.

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN
Deciding to begin any fertility process is not like jumping in the sack and doing the deed. It is a time and life consuming process that takes mental, physical, financial, and spiritual planning.

• Mentally, you have to get yourself in a good place. It can be a mind game when things work out one day and change the next. This can be the hardest thing to do but try to stay positive and believe it will work whether it's your first cycle or your third. BEST ADVICE... have a support system to help you with this. Having 1, 2, or even 3 people you can talk to, cry with, or pray with can help tremendously. 
• Physically, treat your body well. I am not the healthiest person but anything you can do to get healthy now is that time to do it. If you have a couple pounds to get rid of, I would do it before you get started. The meds take a toll on the body. Start walking, cut out the soda, try to eliminate or reduce stress, and start taking your vitamins.
• Financially, be prepared to pay. Talk to the financial person in the practice you are going to. They can give you an estimate about how much it will cost, find out what your insurance will cover, and tell you about any packages available. Also, talk to your doctor. Whatever fertility process you are starting, the doctor can guide you on the best course of action. Having a baby can be very expensive and you don't want to do so sitting on debt. 
• Spiritually find something comforting that can provide you with guidance and strength. Whether it is praying, meditating, reading the bible, or reflecting. Do it!!!

HAVE SUPPORT

Whether it is your partner, family member, blog buddy, therapist or support group. Have someone or a handful of people you can talk to. Being brutally honest, it might be helpful to have someone other than your partner since he/she is also going through the process as well. My husband was an incredible support system but sometimes having an outside neutral perspective was needed.  

DOCUMENT YOUR EXPERIENCE

Keep something that tells your story. Even if it is just for yourself, you'll be surprise going back and reading your experience. Both successes and failures give us the strength and knowledge to move toward the future.

MEDICATION

Have a special place you will keep your medication/supplies. In this area, also have a calendar of what medications will be given when. 

A lot of advice could be given on the best way to give a needle...all I can say is follow the directions for the medication and breath. You can ice up and rub, rub, rub but really after the first few, it gets a little easy to tolerate the pain. Be prepared though...you will most likely have bruising and bloating.

AN IVF CYCLE...

AFTER AN EMBRYO RETRIEVAL & TRANSFER...

TAKE IT EASY

I found that after the embryo retrieval I really needed to take it easy. I took off the day of the retrieval since they did require bed rest because of the anesthesia.  However, I also took off the following day. I was moving around fine but had slight cramping. Don't plan any trips or crazy activities. 

KEEP HYDRATED

I heard about and tried to keep hydrated many different ways. I started drinking water before we even started the medication but around the time of the retrieval and transfer I was drinking coconut water and even Pedialyte.

PINEAPPLE??

Some people I talked to, that had gone through IVF, suggested pineapple after the transfer. I don't know if it works...but I did it.

PROTEIN

After the transfer, my doctor told me to incorporate 100 grams of protein a day into my diet.  

DON'T OVER DO ANYTHING!!

Live life but don't go out and do anything crazy. It's time to take it easy. Your ovaries are very fragile from the time they are stimulated until weeks after the transfer. No exercising or intercourse!!

THE 14 DAY WAIT...

WAITING IS THE WORST!

From the moment you arrive home from they fertility treatment your mind will go into over drive waiting for the minute you can take a pregnancy test. I was literally driving myself crazy with the "What Ifs." Plan some things to do during this period of time: Lunch with friends, going to the movies, spa day, sports game, date night. Anything!! Fill the days up!

Like I said before, I can only speak from my experience. Everybody has their own story and situation but hopefully this is helpful. : )

Happy Three Months- 5-19-2014

Happy 3 Months!!

Age: 3 months

Weight: 13 lbs.

Height: 23 in.

Milestones:

• Harper began chewing and sucking on her pointer finger and thumb of her left hand.
• She can easily roll from belly to back, in fact, almost every time we do tummy time she rolls over.
• She has really been trying to roll from her back to belly. She will get her bottom almost over then flip back to her back.
• Harper grabs and brings toys to her mouth.
• She loves to stand when we hold her and puts a good amount of weight on her legs. However, she doesn't love to sit as much.

Sleep:

Little Miss Harper has been dictating her schedule since day one and has been moving her bed time earlier and earlier. We have gotten into a really good routine. We usually start our bedtime routine (bath, bottle, book, and songs) around 7:00 and she is down for the count by 8:00. She will sleep through the night until 3:30-4, wakes for a bottle, then goes back to sleep until 7:00 or so.

Naps are a little bit of a different story...she doesn't love them. Usually she will take 3-4 naps, all being about 45 minutes to an hour. Harper almost always takes a morning nap from 9-10. Other than that it seems to change day to day based on what we are doing that day. We have attempted to do naps in the pack and play but Harper still loves the movement so she still naps in the swing.

Another big change is that she is completely out of her swaddle. We went from a complete swaddle, to a Halo sleep sack, until finally she will either wear a sleep sack just for warmth or nothing at all. This was a really big deal for us!!!

Mommy's Favorite Moment:

There are always so many special moments in the month. As she gets older, her little personality is coming alive. I love when we wake up in the morning. I sing our little Good Morning song and she looks at me with a HUGE smile. No matter how tired, it's the best feeling!!

This month I got to celebrate my very first mother's day with the most amazing little girl!!! I was completely spoiled with breakfast in bed, new sneakers so we could go on our many adventures this summer, and a beautiful necklace with the letter "H."

   

Daddy's Favorite Moment:

Harper got to witness her first rugby game!  Daddy got to play for the first time in a long time and then come off the field to see his baby girl.  She also got to meet all of his rugby friends. Everyone thought Harper was so beautiful and that she was starting to look like her dad!

Health:

Just like a lot of babies Harper has been dealing with reflux. A lot of spit-up!!! We went to the doctors at the beginning of the month to try and get some answers. We had switched formulas several times thinking it was an allergy but nothing changed. The doctor said that lots of babies have reflux because their muscles have not developed yet.

The choices of treatment were Zantac or rice in her bottles. We wanted to stay away from prescription drugs for a little while so it was our decision to use the cereal. The doctor suggested 1 Tablespoon to each ounce however we thought this was too much. We use 1 Tablespoon for every 2 ounces. Harper still spits up but not nearly as much. Hopefully as she get older, learns to sit, and move to solids the reflux will go away. 

Eating:

Praise the Lord!! We have finally settled on a routine!!! Harper takes a 4 ounce bottle every 3-4 hours. With the formula we mix in 2 Tablespoons of rice cereal to help with reflux.

We did try to up the amount of formula to 5 ounces however it seemed to throw off her sleep and made her uncomfortable.

Things I Want to Remember:

• Harper is wearing 3 month clothes and size 2 diapers.
• Her hair is growing in a dark blond and eyes are staying blue, blue blue!!
• She loves going for walks outside.
• We went on our first family vacation to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We took the 10 hour drive down and Harper did a great job in the car!! While we were in MB, Harper attended her first wedding...Aunt Ci-Ci's.
• Harper went to visit daddy and mommy's work for the first time. 
• We started going to weekly mommy and me classes like Infant Storytime and Makin' Music.
• We met some new friends...Vivi and Danny!!
• Harper loves hanging out with her PAL Violet and singing songs while she gets her diaper changed.
• Our little mover is pushing herself out of everything using her legs. We have to make sure she is securely strapped into her bouncer and swing. She can also push herself all over on the floor.
• Harper is doing great with tummy time. She can hold her head up pretty high for long periods of time...or before she rolls over.
• She also loves sleeping with a blankie or small stuffed animal close to her cheek. 
• While taking a bath, Harper would rather lay in the water the lounge in the net.
• This month Harper went to see her great-grandparents and she met her great-pop-pop for the first time. They absolutely LOVED her!!

Three Month Favorites

 Baby Jogger City Mini
We love this stroller! We bought the infant seat attachment and it works great with our Chicco Keyfit carseat. This stroller is light weight and moves smoothly on pavement, sidewalks, and grass areas. It is also really easy to fold up and put into the trunk which is a plus since I don't exactly have huge muscles.

The First Years Spinning Drying Rack
Since we have moved to complete bottle feeding, it seems like we always have bottle to wash. This is a simple drying rack but it holds a ton of bottle supplies. I like that it has two levels and spins easily. It has a catch dish that collects the water so it is never sitting on the drying shelf or on the counter.

HALO Sleepsack 
Another favorite that I learned about from another mommy. This was great to use as a transition swaddler. Harper was getting older and we wanted her to be able to move her legs and hips but she still didn't have great control over her arms. This sleep sack does just that but once she was able to sleep with her arms out it provides a safe and secure blanket.

Babies r Us Multi-Use Disposable Pads
This favorite makes life easier!!! We use these on the changing pad on top of the cover. This saves us from having to wash the changing pad cover every other day when Harper decides to tinkle or spit up as we are changing her.

Bright Starts Chime Along Friends
Harper loves this toy!!! We hang it from her play mat and on her car seat. We call it her love bug because, well, it's a cute little bug with hearts. : ) The soft chime and bright colors captures her attention while we are driving. Since she has become better at grabbing her toys, she loves to bring the little tags on the toy to her mouth.

Baby Bump Pictures

I finally put together all of my baby belly pictures. It is amazing what a transformation your body makes. Being pregnant for me was the best feeling in the world. I remember the first few weeks we were home from the hospital crying because I missed that feeling of a baby inside of me. 

Now my little Harper-doodle lays on my belly. I get to snuggle her as she smiles at me and I LOVE it even more!!

Baby Bump Video

Schedule...please!!!

I am a super-duper planner. I love when things are on a time schedule and there is order. Funny enough, as a parent, I find that I like Harper to take the lead. She typically gets hungry between 3-4 hours so that is when she eats. She sleeps when she's tired. And the rest of the time is filled with playing, walks, and adventures outside the house. It has worked great for us so far and I'm not ready to change any of that.

I have found however, not having an everyday plan, is making my life a little out of control. My house is a disaster and the pounds I was going to take off a month ago are still in the same spot. Since we are coming up on Harp's 3 month b-day I decided it's time for mommy to get some things under control. 

I decided to create a (daily/weekly) cleaning and things to do schedule to hang on the fridge. (I KNOW...CRAZY!!!) This kind of thing keeps my mind at ease and give me direction each and everyday. The best part is I can do all of this things around Harper's schedule or with her. 

Check it out...

Daily

Morning:
Make beds
Pick up bedroom floors
Straighten up bathrooms
Unload dishwasher

Evening:
De-clutter living room
Sweep/Mop kitchen floor
Wipe down kitchen counters
Dishes

Weekly

Monday: Vacuum & Mop floors, Dust
Tuesday: Blog
Wednesday: Laundry, Foyer (walk @ park)
Thursday: Bathrooms
Friday: Grocery Shopping
Saturday: Bed sheets

Exercise:

Walk (after morning nap)
Workout (during afternoon nap)

My Sister's Wedding

We have been pretty busy around here. Just as fast as things are getting on a more predictable schedule for Harper, the weekends are filling up. The beginning of May presented a pretty big event in our family. My little sister got married!!!

Christina's wedding was held in Murrell's Inlet, South Carolina at a place called Sunnyside Plantation. The entire wedding was held outdoors except for the cocktail hour which was held in a historic house. I was really proud of her for taking on such a huge event all by herself.

We decided to drive down. (more information on Vacations & Road Trips with an Infant to come) The drive ended up being about 10 hours with a few stops but I have to say I thought Harper did a pretty good job. Overall it was a whirlwind of a weekend but an absolute beautiful event!!! Here are some moments captured during our drive down and at the wedding.

The Bride getting ready for her walk down the aisle.

Table Centerpiece 

Direction Sign * Created By Christina

 Head Table

Historic House at Night

 FAMILY PICTURES

Congratulations Christina & Mike!!

Breastfeeding Diary

From the moment Nick and I decided we were going to have a baby, I had plans. I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and only breastfeed. I didn’t want to supplement or use any formula. I wanted to wait to bottle feed for at least a month and I was adamant about having that initial bonding time after the birth to bring her to the breast.

Well….as they say, things don’t always work out the way you plan. With all the hustle and bustle after Harper was born we didn’t really have “bonding time.” I told the NICU doctor I wanted to breastfeed only. The doctor was pretty understanding of this and did not give me a hard time but did say, "if you have a fever you will not be able to come into the NICU so you may have to pump." Things were a little hazy after I had the baby since it literally felt like a million things were going on and I was just watching from the outside. I might have freaked out my nurse slightly when I just about jumped out of the bed I was in after I delivered Harper, just so I could get to the postpartum room and pump some breast milk. Thankfully, once I was safe and sound in a room I found out I didn't have a fever so I could go into the NICU. : ) I sat down for the first time in a little rocking chair and held my baby for only the second time. I lifted my shirt and put her to my breast just like you would think. I tried to replicate everything I had read and seen about breastfeeding in the past few months. 

HA! Well, a little something people don't tell you. Something that is so natural is not so natural. It's hard getting on the same page with the baby. I was determined to make this work. Every three hours I went down to the NICU and fed her. I had an amazing nurse who taught me different positions but I was never really able to maneuver Harper on my own. Everyone would say, "wow, she has a great latch." She was gaining weight each day so I thought...I GOT THIS!!! 

We went got home, I was ready to do everything I was taught in the hospital. We arrived home late in the evening. Tired and exhausted I tried to feed Harper. I tried...she declined. Over and over again until this high strung, tired mommy became frustrated and burst into tears. Harper was up all night crying and crying. I tried to feed her but she did not want to latch on. I blame myself because she did it fine in the hospital but I never really put her on by myself. Poor little girl was starving by morning and since we weren't going to use formula we didn't have any in the house.

We went to the pediatrician the next morning, of course she was not at birth weight, so the doctor gave us samples of formula. This was a kick in the gut but I was so sleep deprived and I just wanted to give this baby what she needed. I was still determined to give her breast milk so I refused to use any type of bottle. instead we would feed our new born baby with a syringe. A freaking syringe with a substance that was not from me!

We called a lactation consultant that same day and met with her. As she sat down with us Harper latched onto the left breast without a problem (once again with help from the consultant not on my own) but she wasn't really interested in the right side. The consultant gave us a nipple guard and from that day I started using it on both sides. It was working. I could put her on and she would drink. I also starting pumping so we could use some of the breast milk in a bottle with the formula.

I thought we were on the up swing but the scale did not agree. Harper wasn't losing weight but she still was not up to her birth weight. We decided to give Harper a bottle of formula in the evening. Days later we were in the same situation...nipple guard, not at birth weight...so we added in a bottle of formula during the day. I also continued to pump but my supply was low. I suspect because Harper was not latching directly on and helping me to produce.

The amount of guilt I felt about not being able to do something so natural that so many people do sent me downhill. I cried daily and apologized over and over again to my husband.

I kept waiting for things to improve. I tried everything everyone told us. Then one day I felt a lump in my left breast. A hard lump. A clogged milk duct. I tried to get rid of it. Tried to latch Harper on...pump every two hours...push it out...warm compressed. It only grew and ended up getting infected. Mastitis.

I had a high fever which put me in bed. I kept trying to get Harper to latch but at the same time she started to refuse the nipple guard altogether and getting her to latch onto my breast was nearly impossible. I decided to start exclusively pumping.

By the time I got into the doctors the lump was the size of a golf ball. I was put on antibiotics and sent to get an ultrasound a few days after. I went to the ultrasound and the radiologist sent me right to a breast surgeon. The mastitis had turned into an abscess and had to be drained. It was so bad the doctor decided to put me under to drained out the infection. The doctor made a one inch incision, drained, cleaned out the area, and covered it up. For the next few weeks, the open cut drained and drained. I had to recover it and apply warm compresses 3 times a days. For the first few days I was on pain killers which meant anything I pumped had to be dumped. I was also still on the antibiotic. As the days went by and my breast was healing, I really tried to keep things going with the pumping but the amount of milk became less and less each day.

One day I woke up and realized Harper was drinking 95% formula and my life was being ruled by a breast pump. I knew it was time to let go. So I did.

This was not what I had planned and definitely not how I wanted things to work out. I wish I could have breast fed Harper as I had planned for her first year of life but I am happy and finally as ease with the outcome. She is a beautiful, happy, and incredible little girl!!