One Year Ago Today

Well...this day last year we went to the fertility doctor for our consultation appointment after all of the initial testing. My tests came back fine but we found out there was a problem with Nick's morphology. MORPH-A-WHAT??? What are the choices??? IVF. It was such a blow to the gut. I know I have said this a zillion times before but we really were thinking all it would take was a little medicine and a little scheduling.

Fast forward 12 months later and we are counting down the days...

67 Days

I LOVE the fact the numbers are getting smaller and smaller. Each day we are getting closer to making a baby of our own. As hard as it is, we are past the disbelief of the path we forced to take and living the moments of a positive experience with IVF.

Not the Best Night

Today was a rough. Two years ago this weekend,  Nick and I found our we were pregnant. We were shocked, unprepared, but so EXCITED. Two years ago this weekend I walked down to the basement where Nick was working out and told him I thought I was pregnant. He told  me to wait a few days (since my period was literally only hours late) but of course I ignored him and bought a test anyway. I secretly took the test and found our we were going to be a little family. This little story didn't have a happy ending. For two years we have been trying to start a family. TWO LOONNNGGGG YEARS!

Tonight we went to a friend's son's birthday. Of course we were the only people there without a child. Fine. BUT....there were so many pregnant women there. So many bellies in my face. Then everyone asking when we were going to start a family. It took everything I had not to let my tears stream down my face and make up excuses to why we don't have any. This is just as hard on Nick. When I tell him how I feel he tells me to tell myself..."Soon!" Trust me I do but nothing takes away the feeling of emptiness.

Also, there is a different status when you start a family AND before you have that we are looked at as the people who just don't get it.

Happy February!

Today is the first day of February. Just 28 days until my birthday!! That's about all of the excitement going on here. I am becoming quite obsessed with baby planning and getting into the mode of getting my classroom prepared for next year. A little cray-cray since there is no baby as of yet. : )

93 Days ~ until we call the doctor

Recently our doctor updated their IVF packages. The new price is $8000 for one fresh cycle and unlimited frozen cycles (which is new). I think Nick and I are going to go for the rest of our planning meetings (injection lesson, paperwork, counseling,etc.) during our spring break in March so we can figure out a definite schedule.

Oh and it has been a while since I have left a little quote...

You know you are progressing when you leave behind the old, and you embrace the new with a smile on your face and in your heart. ~ Suze Orman